Getting Closer to the new Annie...
Since we were lonely and didn’t seem to make any real friends in Washington and church was long forgotten, we moved back to California with Daryl’s family. Huge mistake. I immediately had a job at a chain restaurant and was making decent enough money, Daryl got work but he had a hellacious drive. In any case we bought a trailer in the trailer park his sister and brother lived in. It would be our stepping stone to owning our own home, we thought, We were wrong.
Escapist Annie went full fledge party hound, I began to manage the restaurant and became deeply in love with Cocaine again. After a short period it became Meth and I was strung.
Escapist Annie hated her job and quit to take a server position in the new Restaurant in town where I met my bestest Meth buddy. He had a small family too and they lived in squalor so they could afford their habit. Daryl and I had lost the trailer and were living in a 20 footer with 4 kids a dog and a cat. We were so strung, I lost my job and Daryl did too, we both went on unemployment.
I broke during this time. Not just a little. I broke into a billion pieces, Meth made me happy therefor I needed it, When it was gone I made Daryl go get more and when that was gone I would cry because I had nothing holding me up anymore, The turning point was when I seen a woman’s leg covered in abscesses, She was a heroine addict and that was my next stop,
I quit. Daryl did not but we both went back to work. I got a job at Comcast, found us a house and we settled in. We backslid several times and there was still a lot of drinking going on but for the most part we were starting to get out shit together again, AS usual, Daryl sabotaged us one last time and I will not say what he did, but there I became single Annie. I asked him to leave and he wouldn’t so I had to find a which is where the newest freshest version oh Annie came along,
I met Todd at Comcast, he was going through a divorce as well so I took his spare room and and the rest is history. In my opinion, it was too early for us to fall in love but it happened anyways. I was done being strung out and todd was clean cut all American, no drinking, smoking, nothing, What an odd couple we were (are). Todd had to endure my withdrawals from Meth and from Xanax. I left him tw]ce trying hard to rely on myself alone. Neither time worked out. I cam running back. Now I should mention here that Todd was quite the control freak making it hard for me to stick around. But to his credit he is the only man I’d ever met willing to change for me, and so over time she did. Despite this, I still had 4 kids to care for and I was in survival Annie. Comcast was the best job I’d ever had. I was able to insure my kids, keep a budget and feel secure that in case anything happened, I would be ok, So Survival Annie kept Todd at arms length for years,
I did finally marry him though.
The trouble was I was not able to get out of Survival Annie, I was still ripe for addiction although I never acted on them. I know now that I will always be ripe for addiction. Any addiction, just throw one on the wall and I have it,
Tomorrow I will take about the wicked 2012 break down,