So, today Is a new day, I’ve signed up for NOOM to address my every growing body. I don’t mind sharing that I am 233lbs, I’ve lost a few pounds. Counting calories is an eye opener even when you’re eating good foods. Everything has calories, some are good some are bad. I’ve been eating high calorie good foods so I have to change it up to lower calorie good foods. No big deal. And save room for a nummy too. I also have to meet a step goal that gets longer each day, That means I have to take Sami for longer walks which scares me. I’m comfortable taking him to the end of the street, my PTSD kicks in and I freeze. So I’m going to have to learn more about breaking my scary boundaries. Something I can talk to my Doc about. I already know what he is going to say, Cross the street and that is it the first day. Go farther the next day, It will get less scary each day, and don’t beat myself up if I don’t make it. I’m going to try to try.
In other news, my family is safe from COVID. The bad news is I’ve been planning a cruise for over a year and a half that debarks on May 16th. Not sure that is going to happen, I’m very disappointed that I probably won’t be going. But maybe I will. I’m still gearing up as if I’m going. Stay positive. I’m sure a lot of you think it would be crazy to get on a ship at this time. I thing we’ve learned a lot about the virus and we know how to stay healthy even in groups. But we’ll see. My PTSD might win.
I’m hoping your families are safe during these frightening times. I’m thinking good thoughts into the Universe for each and every one of you to be safe and healthy.
A ltttle add. My mother is spending time in Colville Wa with my brothers. She was sworn to secrecy. She knows I'm not ready to talk to my brothers and what does she do? She calls me on blast with my brothers in the room. So I had no choice but to talk to them, I now that I'm angry at my mother but I'm not sure how I feel about talking to my brothers. I have some anger and some sadness I'm dealing with. I understand the anger but I do not understand the sadness, So I need to work that out. Could be sadness from childhood. It feels heavy so that's a good idea of where it's coming from. I don't know, I just know I'm angry and sad.