There is a gentle little rain falling right now. It’s soft and sweet. I hated rain as a child. As this rain falls it reminded me of a time as a child. It was a good memory, don’t worry,
If was a rainy day and I must’ve been 7 years old, I hated rainy days as a child because I could not escape, There was no tree to hide in, no vacant park to swing in, no grassy field to pick dandelions in. It was just me and my brothers. I closed my bedroom door and for some reason Scott my 2nd oldest brother was leaving me alone.
I made a blanket fort, broke out my toy 45 and played the only record I owned, Disco Duck. On the flip side was a single by the Beatles called I Am the Walrus. I played it over and over and over again, I put on a cape (my pajamas) and I was Queen for the day. I stood up tall on the chair holding my fort together and proclaimed it!! I sang my little heart out, And if I heard either of those songs today, I could probably sing right along, Koo Koo Ka Choo.
I think it must’ve been my oldest brother who asked me to stop playing it over and over again, My oldest brother was the “nice” one. He never laid a finger on me in any way shape or form. He stayed far away from Scott and his shenanigans. I remember after my mother divorced my step monster, my brothers went to live with my father and my father gave my brother a choice, live one the streets or join the service, and so he took his GED and joined the Army. He would write me long elaborate letters telling me all about the places he had been, especially in Germany, He wrote to tell me to be a good girl, that I’m getting older and I need to do good in school if I wanted anything in life, I cherished those letters.
The thing that has kept our relationship very distant was that he knew what Scott was doing to me and he didn’t save me, He didn’t tell. He didn’t do anything, Just left me out to take whatever abuse I was going to take. Michael was not afraid of Scott, but Scott was capable of doing really bad things. I think he didn’t want to die in the middle of the night, In anycase that’s that.