REMIND ME WHY I DO THIS AGAIN?

I’m doing this for my over all health, all healths, mental, physical, spiritual, but why does it have to be so fucking hard? I feel like I’ve spent countless hours in that gym and countless nights of salads and I’m not close to my goal, not even remotely.

There are all sorts of fad diets out there but I believe in good food and good exercise is the only thing that will work on a long term basis. I don’t believe in counting points while I do believe in watching calories.

This is such a fucking merry-go-round. Would I be doing this if I weren’t going on a cruise in 3 months? Probably not so hard. I just know it’s going to change me from the inside out. My Therapist keeps trying to convince me to start going to Jus-Jitsu. I would if I could afford it, Wait? I probably could IF I QUIT SMOKING. That ain't happening sweetheart. I am a chain smoker, its the only vice I have left, so leave me alone.

Well that’s my rant for the day, otherwise, I’m fine, just fine. Really. I mean it.

Now I’m going to go put my smelly sweaty huge ass under the shower head.